It’s the little things

There is a good chance that I did indeed have an infection. The pain from the 12th increased two fold in the next two days and the redness got worse. But thankfully the wound has not burst open yet.  The pain started to subside on Friday, but it also still lingers.  

During the week elves Luke and Bekky came to visit with the pups, Moki and Juniper.  Not only did Luke make an amazing dinner but Bekky did some chores around the house.  They were most thankful I think that I could wipe my own ass. Haha.  Also Juniper being a puppy was happy my former boss, Jim, stopped by with his pup Cody, because the old dogs of Moki and Pabst were not up to playing. Cody and Juniper ran circles around us while we talked.  

I was left unsupervised on Friday and that isn’t smart.  I started doing things I probably shouldn’t have been. And paid for it Friday evening. 

My biggest pain currently is the open sores from the blisters due to my allergic reaction to the Tagaderm.  But I also have what I call phantom pains but that isn’t the right name.  I guess it is probably nerve pain. Out of right field, I will all the sudden have a stabbing pain. I will just be sitting here and wham.  And there is still the constant concern of the wound ripping open. 

Next appointment is the 21st for a follow up. If the doc thinks there is still fluid in there, there’s a possibility of another needle going into my boob for fluid extraction, but she really doesn’t want to go that route.  I also have an oncology appointment on December 9th.  

Today was definitely a day of progress. During my shower today, I was able to wash my hair by myself.  I could only use my left arm, but I feel I did a good job.  Also, I decided on trying to wear a normal shirt instead of a button down.  These little things made me feel that I’m definitely getting better.  

Until next time…

 

 

Appointment update 11-12-2024

Yesterday, I probably overdid it.  Or at least that is what I am thinking since my boob area kinda hurts this morning.  This was probably from having to grab the door to close it.   

After working for a few hours in the morning, Amy and I headed over to Durango.  Our first stop was Frida's for the best chips and salsa as well as good food.  I am a big fan of crispy tacos, and they make really good ones.  Amy had taquitos.  Nothing like Mundell's taquitos.  I've been missing those lately.  

After lunch, we went to Maria's bookstore.  Both of us purchasing books.  Then we tried to find me a button up short sleeve shirt (or two).  Winter is upon us I know, but as I'm mostly in the house, the flannels are too much.  No such luck.  Even at the thrift store there were zero.  Maybe I'll just cut off the sleeves at the shoulder and be rednecky.  

Last stop before the doctor was the UPS store to return some of the 20 bras we have purchased in the hopes something would work.  I actually didn't even try these on because I'm currently wearing a XXXL and those were XL.  Yea! I got my double ds.  

We got to the doctor's way too early, but it was ok because Amy had her book, and I was nearing my nap time.  We were the only ones in the waiting room so when the door opened, I knew it had to be for me.  She said she called my name softly since it appeared I was sleeping.  I wasn't and yesterday I made it through with no nap at all.  

After the nurse preliminary stuff (blood pressure, O2, etc.) and the nurse adding in the bandage covering to something I was allergic to, the doctor came in.  She immediately stated that my boobs looked way better than the photo I had sent the nurse navigator.  After looking and poking, she was concerned about some redness near the boob incision site.  From there, she promptly put me on antibiotics for 10 days.  4 times a day.  Now I am one of those people having to set timers to take meds.  

You know when you go to the doctor for a pain and by the time you leave, you are in twice as much pain because they poke and prod you.  Well, that didn't really happen because I was experiencing the upper boob pain prior to going there, but she did talk about drainage that I hope to hell doesn't happen.  This is her concern because of the redness around the incision.  I need you prayers to dig deep that this doesn't happen because I would probably also puke during it.  

But there is some good news in this whole thing.  The preliminary pathology came back.  NOT IN THE LYMPH NODES and the MARGINS WERE GOOD.  

They are still waiting for pathology on the second mass they removed.  The mass looked exactly like the cancerous one, but when initially biopsied was not cancerous.  

Once all the pathology comes back, then it will be sent to Oncology for the oncotype score.  Again, this score will determine the next steps...chemo, chemo/radiation, radiation.  So again another waiting game.  

Until next time...

One week out of surgery

Today, marks one week since the surgery.   I've had good days, and I've had bad days.  

Going to Walmart the day after surgery probably wasn't the wisest decision, but I survived.  It definitely wore me out.  I took it easy after that especially after Polly chastised me about going out into public.  

I am getting bored though.  On Saturday, we went to the Winter Market.  Got some bread, cinnamon rolls, lettuce, and carrots.  After that we went to Canyon of the Ancients Museum where we walked to the top of the hill (1-mile round trip) to take in the views and Escalante Pueblo.  We followed it up with a brief stop in the museum.  Mostly to use the bathroom.  I had a belt on and had to have Amy unbelt me before I could get into the stall.  NOTE: Do not use a belt as it hurts to take it off.   

 

As I struggled to put on my socks the other day, I was commenting how much respect I have for people who struggle on a daily basis with issues.  And I am sure they sometimes bitch, but they also realize they have to push forward.  And that is what I am trying to do.  Put one foot in front of the other and work my way through the pain and discomfort.  

     

All females can relate to this.  But my new life is in a bra almost 24/7.  The other day I thought I would try to put on a normal shirt and go without for the day.  I was able to get on a tank top of Murray's, but then my sister thought I should still wear a bra.  I definitely was Walmart worthy after that.  I mean I could probably have made it unto the Walmart video page and won something.  

My biggest pain is actually not from the incision of my boob and lymph nodes, but rather I had a pretty significant reaction to the bandage covering.  I actually have blisters from it and those are breaking.  Those are the biggest issue for the most part.  

Concerned about the above and just overall, I sexted a photo to my nurse navigator inquiring if everything looked ok.  They have decided I should come in tomorrow for a follow up appointment.  The initial one was on the 21st.  Primarily the reason for the follow up being so long was because the doctor was waiting for the pathology to come back.  She told me "you will see it pop up in your portal, but let me discuss it with you instead of trying to figure out what the numbers mean".  Anyway, Amy and I will head over to the appointment tomorrow.  It is at 2pm so may be some Mexican food and UPS store to return 2 of the 900 bras I've ordered.  

Yesterday, I sat in the recliner most of the day watching football and Yellowstone. Did you see that blocked field goal of the Chiefs?  Luckily, I had just woke up from my nap about 10 minutes prior.  And last night I probably paid for it as I was in so much pain, I broke down in tears.  Amy was saying how good I had been doing emotionally and then she comes out of her room to find me in tears with Murray at my side.  I finally took an oxy and was able to get a good night's sleep.  

Today, I will plan on taking a walk at some point and get moving around a little more than yesterday.  

Until next time....

Progress is coming

 Yesterday was a tough day even though I took it easy.  As Amy said, it is like when you have a really good workout and you are typically sore the second day rather than the first.  I am supposed to be wearing a supportive bra and maybe it was just too supportive because I was seriously bruised by the end of the day.  I'm going to forgo it today.  

Yesterday, my recovery couch arrived.  Thanks to Melissa for buying one so I knew what to expect, but I got a different color, so we aren't twins.  The delivery driver would only drop it at the door, but it was snowing so I talked him into putting it in the garage.  The couch came in about 5 boxes and on a pallet.  Amazon!  Since I cannot lift anything over 10 pounds (honestly the tea kettle is too heavy), I called upon Mike and Ashley to come over for dinner and couch building.  Thanks again gang.  

I pooped today!  💩 Anyone who has ever had surgery knows that you get super stopped up.  I sent Amy to the store of MiraLAX, but by the time she came home I was golden.  However, I was in there a while, but wow did I feel much better.  

Today is Day 3 from surgery and that is where progress is happening.  I was allowed to take off the bandage today.  It was not too painful to take it off, but still there was some grimacing.  And some of the tape took off my skin.  And now those areas are leaking.  

But the best part was I SHOWERED.  Obviously not my normal scalding shower where I keep turning the hot up and up.  And I didn't wash my hair.  I was more turning it down and down to allow the water to run over my boob.  But that is where some mild screaming took place.  The water touching the exposed skin was painful.  I just let the water and soap flow over the boob.  Showering felt so good though.  

Murray is taking some laundry to the wash and fold so that we have clean sheets on the bed, and I have some clean button up shirts.  I will find some other chores for him as well.  😏 Me, I'm going to lay on the recovery couch for a bit.  

Until next time....

How are you feeling?

This post is about me, not the election.  As in How is Sara feeling.

My boob is the size of a mini-basketball and it is firm like it as well.  I feel like I got hit in the chest with a baseball bat, but the pain is up and down.  I'm up moving around and probably over did it yesterday so today, I will lay low.  I am not truly in pain as in ouch, but more of just a bothersome pain.  

Yesterday, Amy and I went to Walmart to get a supportive bra.  I feel like a true WALMARTIAN now because I wore my pajamas there.  I found a XXXL bra to fit around my enlarged boob and wore it out of the store.  It provided comfort yesterday and I should definitely put it on soon because I'm feeling some pain.  We did some other shopping as well like more Tylenol, Colace, a mandolin, a peeler, and another button up shirt.  Winter is upon us and there are no short sleeve shirts.  Shopping in Walmart wore me out.

When we got to City Market for groceries, I hopped right into the driving cart and led Amy around pointing out things to get on my list.  Those things do not have a great turning radius, and I slammed into the gift card display.  Luckily nothing came down.  And some people were great about letting me go by and some people must have thought I didn't need to be in a driving cart as young as I am (haha).  

Those two trips wore me out and I returned home to take a short nap.  Then I ate lunch and Amy and I played SHUT THE BOX.  I laid down some, we had a wonderful meal thanks to Sara H. who made me lasagna before leaving the park, and we (Amy and I) ended the night watching the movie Unfrosted.  Murray of course finished with the election results.  

Not sure what time I finally went to sleep, but I do know I awoke at 215am.  I took some meds and read some of my kindle book before falling back to sleep.  Pabst was having some good dreams and kept kicking the closet and so by 600am I was up and awake.  There is snow on the ground.

Today, I am going to try to take it easy, but when I have to lay in bed and rest, I do not.  When I don't have to rest, I can lay in bed all day.  So here goes resting today.

Until next time....

Here we go....

I walked into the grocery store the other day and this was the first thing that I saw.  No way in hell I bought it as most of you know I have the absolute hatred for these fricking balloons.  But anyway, I've had a lot of people reach out and say, "how are you doing or how are you feeling?".  And to be honest, I've had a hard time answering those questions.  I told Lisa "like a wrecking ball".  But honestly, that is just what the first thing that came into my mind was.  Do I have bad days?  Sure I do, but then I bounce back with a good day.  Probably the worse I've endured this last week is my sleeping.  I've awakened at 2am almost every night and immediately some damn cancer thought comes into my mind and then I play toon blast until 4, sleep until 6, go about my day, and somehow make it through without a nap.  

There has been an update as of late and I've been waiting until today to post about it.  Surgery is tomorrow!  My team and I are heading over to Durango this evening because it is supposed to snow and also because I have to be at the hospital at 6:45am.  Then I get to hang out all fricking day.  Surgical nurse said I'd probably be released around 4:00pm.  UGH.  I told the team to just drop me off and come back later.  No sense they sitting in uncomfortable chairs reading books all day.  But of course, that won't happen.  

The actual surgery is not until 12:00pm.  I start the morning off with some radiology appointment where they put wires in my boob to mark the margins of the mass.  I am also injected with some dye that will trace to my lymph nodes.  Then I just hang out until 12:00pm.  The surgery will be around 1.5 hours.  I will be moved into Phase I recovery.  Once I've passed Phase I, I will be moved into Phase II and the team can come in and bother me.  And then I will be released.  Depending on weather, we will either drive back to Cortez or stay over again.  

I'm ready...

I have a shirt that Murray's brother sent me to wear "DON'T LET IT WIN" with pink ribbons.  Of course, I probably won't be wearing it home as I won't be able to lift my arm.  Amy and I went and got a comfy pajama button up top yesterday to wear home.  And Amy did some shopping prior to driving up to get me a proper after surgery bra that snaps in the front.  Luckily, she lives in Phoenix where you can order something from Amazon at 8:00am and have it delivered by 5:00pm the same day.  But she also went to several other stores to get others.  We took some back to Walmart last night.  

So here we go...

Until next time....

  

 

The date is set

The surgeons office called me on Thursday and said November 5th will be the surgery.  Ugh I can’t wait to wake up from this and find out who the next president is.  

Anyway, the plan is to have a lumpectomy. An incision or two in my boob and one under my armpit.  I’ve been having pain in both places on and off lately. Or have I?  Could they be phantom pain because I know what is lurking inside my body now. 

I am prepared that things might not go as planned and might wake up to having the entire boob gone or may be two. It is a possibility. Cancer is an evil mother fucker. We will just see. Luckily for me, I don’t have any stomach tattoos so if they have to pull skin, it will just have a belly button piercing scar.  And if they want, they can take some fat too. 

Once the mass(es) are removed, they will be sent to pathology and return a oncotype score.  This score will determine the likelihood of breast cancer reoccurring and also the treatment.  For instance, chemo might not help my cancer type.  So after surgery it is a waiting game again for about a week and a half. 

Lots of waiting, plan, waiting…

I had a call from a social worker today.  I got excited for a moment thinking not an ology but then sociology. Anyway, she asked me about my support system. 1. My husband  2. Great family support although my 3 brothers didn’t send me $100 to cheer me up (photo below I sent to them)  3. My core group of very close girlfriends. 4. My close knit friends. 5. My social media friends. 6. My work. When I mentioned work, she was very happy to hear it. And I was sad to hear her say often times people’s work aren’t supportive. WTF. Someone is fighting for their life and you are going to say “oh well see you later”. I’m very glad mine is behind me the entire way. 

So in the next week, I need to get my work life in order and plan for some recovery time.  I also have a special trip I’m planning on taking at the end of November come hell or high water. The place we’d be staying said if we can’t make it, they’d honor our payment for a year.  I would say saying you have cancer has its perks, but not really.

If you leave a comment, could you leave your first name  I didn’t realize I had so many anonymous friends.  And I haven’t been able to guess most of them.  

Until next time…