Tragedy of Life

The time was approximately 930pm on Tuesday. I was laying in the hotel room watching some lame TV when my cell phone rang. I picked it up, flipped it open, and noticed the name. Surprised to see that the individual was calling this late as I am forbidden to call after 830pm to them, I answered the phone. I could tell immediately something was wrong by her voice. She proceeded to tell me that her brother had been killed in a car accident that day. I remember clearly saying "OH MY GOD". I probably said it several times really.

And you know, I have no idea why I said it because I clearly do not believe in a deity one bit. And each time a tragic thing happens in my life such as this, I run further (or farther) away from religion. And so once again I have run.

He is 34 years old. And he will forever be 34 years old. He has a 3 year girl he is leaving behind. And she is certain that daddy is still at work and will be coming home soon.

What do you tell a 3 year old? Definitely not that God has taken her dad because she will run from religion the rest of her life. I know.

But this isn't about me. This is about a family, mostly the parents, that had endured so much pain and tragedy in their life that I find it hard to fathom. And you know, they just keep on moving through the motions of life. That is what I think they are doing...just running through the motions just to be there for their grandchildren and daughter's family. A friend of mine said "the father has been dealt the worst hand in life, how can anyone be dealt a hand like that". And I couldn't answer it. It is so true. He seems to have endured one tragedy after another. And I am not talking about a setback or problem. I am talking about serious tragedy. Just doesn't seem fair. And you hear it all the time--life isn't fair--and we deal with that. But does life have to deal you four ace of spades of tragedy. No, I believe it should be spread amongst the crowd. Not just aimed at one person.

This will be the third time I have come to be with the family in some aspect because of a tragedy. And each time it seems the tragedies get worse. And really all I can do is stand next to them, let them know if they keep waking up life will get better, and give them my support. Because at this time in my life, I can't say I know what or how they are feeling. Honestly, even if you've had a death in your life, I have to say you still cannot know what or how this family is feeling.

Please keep them in your thoughts.

A Long One Pine Day

CAUTION!!!! CAUTION!!!!CAUTION!!!
This contains gross and disgusting photos towards the end. For you sick people, scroll straight to the bottom

The day normally starts at either 8 or 10 AM. And it continues well into the darkness of night. The day starts with gathering gear, equipment, good books to read, and food. A drive out a dirty dirt road to a make shift parking lot is what sets the moment. The 30-40 pound pack that feels more like 100 pounds is slapped upon my back and the hike to

starts. It takes me about 25 minutes to hike the less than 1/2 mile. I figured over time it would get easier, but it hasn't. Of course it seems like the hike is up a 90 degree angle. As you might notice the last little part is straight up hill. Actually the whole damn hike is uphill with a short reprieve of flatness that seems uphill. Once at the tree, I drop my pack. Then I take off my shirt and start twirling it around my head...oops that is my other job. But I do take off my shirt to let it dry off.

After catching my breath, peeing (for some reason I always have to pee), and catching my breath again, I set up the days office.

I gotta say that I can't complain about my corner office. Has some of the best views in the world.

I primarily sit for hours on end looking through the scope, reading my book, using your tax dollars and mine to sleep, and exercising (not too frequently though). So what is it that I look at? Well the birds of course....

And then the other birds I don't need to watch, but enjoy doing so

Then eventually, I look down the trail and see my relief in site. And I take my last round of signals, pack my stuff, and wait to turn the chair over to her. But the day isn't even over yet. Later that night I must return to this canyon, slip on a pair of gloves, and head up the hill with a backpack full of rabbits (dead of course) or a calf.

At approximately 2030 - 2100 (8-9), we drive out to the parking area and pull one of the carcasses out. I usually gag as soon as the lid is pulled off. These days my partners try to make me puke by making gagging sounds, inspecting the carcass, or like the other day touched something wet and then smelled her hand. I just walk away, compose myself, and attempt to finish the job. The first carcass is hiked up the hill to the facility. If we are taking a calf, we use a modified like wheel barrel thingy. If we are taking rabbits, we throw them in backpack and walk them up to the facility. P and I used the wheel barrel thing to take up two bags of rabbits because we had more to haul down. Probably about 6-7 in each bag. The deal was that I would place the rabbits and he would pull the old even more smelling carcass from the flight pen. Pulling the old carcass is actually when I gag the most rather than placing the fresh ones. I would place the rabbits in the ISO pens.

While I was placing the second bag of rabbits, P prepared the carcass hauler to take down the old carcass. I think he did a pretty good job.

Unfortunately, he was in the front on the way back to the blind and the smell welcomes the retching full blast. He was a trooper and definitely will receive a gold star (yes, we use them frequently) for being in the back on the way back down.

Now, normally P and I would then pull the second carcass and drive it up to Hilltop to place for the free flying birds. Tonight was also a 'pick up all old carcasses and take to trash can'. Tonight we lucked out because our supervisor came along and he went to Hilltop to do other repairs and finished up the work for us. The first Friday of every month we load up all the old ones and take them to the dumpster. Today was the first Friday. So J loaded up all the old carcasses.

Then they are taken to the dumpster. Now, I got out of the last part kind of. Well yea, I got out of it. So we had some vehicle issues to contend with so they drove to the dumpster and I shuttled vehicles and then met up with them. They were almost finished. I slipped back on a pair of gloves, walked to the back of the truck, and gagged my way out of it. I would have succeeded, but they informed me about how when it is raining it is worst. And then J said you can't even do this during those times...and he bent down and took a big whiff of the death. I gagged away as they were laughing. And then when I was near my dorm, I heard J gagging as well. I was still gagging.

I walked into the laundry room, stripped down, and took a shower. And they wonder why I don't eat before I place those dead things.