Sunday, September 26, 2004

A long day on the Western Front

The day started as any day lately. 8 o'clock in the morning I have called myself into service. I checked some things at the office this morning, talked to Boss Lady and headed into the park for patrol. Each day I mix it up by stopping different places and patrolling different areas each time.

So I head into the park and I am not even 4 miles in when I nab my first vehicle doing 59 MPH. Posted speed limit is 45 MPH. I pulled him over in a place I don't like to, a parking lot, which a zillion people are milling around and wanting to ask you questions. I made it quick by just running his information and handing his stuff back. I told him to please slow down and have a nice day. As I started to leave, he asked me if I had given him a ticket. I said no. He said God Bless You. What I wanted to say was "No, God Bless You, huh?"

I continued on through the park checking various areas, counting cars, running moving radar, etc. At approximately 930, I received the first call from the entrance station. Now, first let me tell you that the fee people were banking on me going into town for gas so I could pick them up lunch. I was stopped at 8 this morning for that request. Of course, I was asked to head to the big city for Krispy Kremes, but I think I would be missed for two hours. Anyway, so Big Bear calls and says there is a roll over accident up the road. I am at mile 18, accident is at mile 4. I called Boss Lady and asked her to respond considering my distance. I flicked on the lights and headed that way. He drove in the ditch, over corrected, and then rolled it. Uninjured. Neither one of us had to do the report as the sheriff arrived to take over for us. We dealt with traffic though. And once again I am baffled that people don't respond to lights and sirens.

I finally made it into town, but was too late to get lunch for the fee people so I got lunch for myself, Boss Lady, and Resuscitation Annie. It was RA's first time ever eating at Wendy's. What a shame! So I finish up lunch and head back into the park because there were some places I didn't patrol earlier. I was at about the location of the accident when the fee people called again. This time it was a compliant from visitors that other visitors had carved their names and other stuff in the rocks. We don't take that lightly and it is one of my biggest pet peeves of all the violations we have. Within minutes of receiving the description of the vehicle, it passed my location. I executed a stop on the vehicle in another parking lot. They denied the instance of course and so I requested further information from the compliant. In the meantime I asked for the driver's license and registration.

I called in the driver's information to the SO. A few minutes later the SO called back. 10-84 (it means are visitors present). It also means things might start to get a little hectic. Means there is a hit on the wants and warrants. It means just in case start another unit rolling your way. It means this isn't just a normal traffic stop. I won't go further into the whole thing which I know all of you would like to read, but like Jack always says some things can't be discussed. I will say that the vehicle left our park with 3 tickets in the amount of $905. I will say I work with a great group of people and people outside our park as well because I had backup coming even though I didn't request it right off the bat. They were rolling my way unknown to me initially. NOTE: People please don't approach an officer during a traffic stop or if they appear to be in the middle of something. It just intensifies the siuation for us. Opie and I were discussing some thing at my vehicle, when I felt the presence of someone standing too damn near to my gun. I whipped around to a visitor getting their photo taken by us. They were foreigners, but I have had the same thing happen with Americans as well. Give us time, we will deal with you. And definitely if we are on a traffic stop, don't stop. (THANKS!)

We cleared the area and I went down to the office to cool off and write my probable cause statement on my citation. Boss Lady wrote the other two citations. At 430, my scheduled time off, another park in our group, was heard to be having a diabetic in distress on one of their trails. It is a 45 minute drive from our park. At approximately 515, 3 of us headed towards the other park. We had just turned onto their road when we were told to 10-22 (disregard). We turned around and headed back to our park.

About that time, the visitor's center called patrol, who was now Boss Lady, and said the park had a dumpster fire at the campground. Some hot ashes caught the trash on fire. We arrived back at the park just as the third engine was rolling up the entrance road. Opie and I jumped out as Preacher went up to assist with traffic control at the entrance.

After putting away my vehicle and finishing up my citation statement, I got the hell out of the park for I was afraid if I stuck around more shit might hit the fan. I can't wait for tomorrow when I get to hike the 3 miles to take photos of the rock defacing.

Yesterday was much better:

Saturday, September 25, 2004

The Snake

About a week ago or more, I was preparing to pull over a visitor when the sheriff's office (SO) chimed me on the radio. You have a visitor at P Point that is keeping other visitors away from an injured rattlesnake. I HATE SNAKES. I said ok and let them know I was pulling someone over and then would head that way. It was 830pm and I got off at 9pm.

I arrived at the scene of the injured rattlesnake. A loco visitor was standing by waving a flashlight. The snake was about at her door. How she got out of the vehicle I am not sure. I pulled out my asp (baton) and poked it a little. It didn't move too much. It was on its late breath I would say. So I picked it up by the tail. I think it had already shit itself because it was now on my hand. I dropped the snake back down. I picked it up again and poked the end of my asp underneath it.

About this time, Loco's cell phone started ringing. I said your phone is ringing. She said I am not going over. And that is when I thought---how did you get out of the car.

So I take Mr. Snake and throw him in the bushes. And then she wanted to see it. So I had to make it all nice. We looked at it for a while and then we both left. I chimed the SO and said I was finished with rattlesnake duty. A short time down the road, the SO chimed back and said could you give me a call. She was laughing when I called in. She wanted to know if I had to give it a funeral and what I exactly did with it. She said she could tell by my voice I wasn't real happy about dealing with snakes. I said don't call me again. And I told her my hand smelled from the snake. I am not sure if it was the shit I touched or just the dying snake itself.

I have went back to check Mr. Snake several times. Why? I am not quite sure. The first couple of times I went back it was still primarily intact. But the yesterday the maggots and worms had come to take a bite. I attracted quite a few visitors wanting to look over my shoulder as I poked him. It was quite disgusting. His head was all puffed up and his skin was moving. It was then I realized that the maggots/worms were inside his head and eating away.

When I went back later to get a photo of it, the worms weren't around anymore. Then I moved the head a few fell out. And then the ground started moving beneath the snake so I took a stick and dug them up. And that is where this comes from:


And looking at the maggots/worms twice, I realized it was a stupid thing to do. Mainly because then I started feeling bugs crawl all over me. I thought may be one had crawled up my pants while I was poking around in the dirt and then laid eggs and more hatched and were attacking me. I felt them the rest of the day. I have decided I don't need to look at Mr. Snake anymore.

Wednesday, September 22, 2004

Cuddly Bear

I was packing up the apartment yesterday. Technically, I don't have to be out until October 2nd, but I figure why pay rent when I don't live there anyway. So I was packing things up. Amazing how all my shit fits into my vehicle. I mean it would, but I made a few trips. I am making the big step of STAYING with BF. Moving in is too big of a relationship word so I am using STAYING with.

Anyway, Hermit was cleaning the apartment next to me and told me that we had a bear in the park. HELLO? A bear in our park. We aren't even in bear country. I mean close, but it isn't where a bear would be hanging out. As I was leaving the park to make another trip to BF's house to drop more of my shit off (he was just concerned if I was bringing the XM Satellite radio), I called Preacher (formerly Forrest Gump) and asked if he found the bear. He said no. But in the background the radio chimed that it was up on the switchbacks. I pulled a u-turn and headed back into the park. I parked below where all the cars were and ran up the hill. Big mistake because once I arrived up there my buddies Bob and John lit fires into my chest. After seeing the little critter, I had to be taken back down to the vehicle because I could bearly (HAHA-really barely) walk. But I watched the bear with all the other visitors and coworkers. She was playing with this raven. The raven was on a rock and she would go over to that rock and make the raven fly to another one. And then go to the raven again. She did this for about 10 minutes. It was so cool.
Bear going after raven again. Raven checking out the bear.

So Preacher dropped me down at my vehicle and I drove up the hill and started back down. Once I got back to where my vehicle was initially park I saw Boss Lady moving her vehicle which meant bear was on the move. I parked down below here and sure enough she (it was a baby girl) was on the move and heading right for my direction. All I thought was cool.
Bear above me. Preacher came back up the hill and we stopped traffic. Sure enough she came over the ridge right toward our path. She stopped and looked at us and then crossed the road and headed down the other side. Bear crossing road.

I went back to my house, threw on a work jacket, a pair of shoes rather than flip-flops, and grabbed my radio. As I was walking out of the house, Boss Lady was coming down the road so I got into the vehicle with her. Miss Bear was causing quite the traffic jam. We watched as she ran along the side of the road. One visitor who had seen her, turned around and headed back up the hill. Preacher was driving down stopping outbound traffic when the radio chimed "I hope this vehicle doesn't hit it". The vehicle that had turned around to get the most awesome photo almost ended her life.

She bolted up the side of the road and disappeared over the ridge. We had already called the Wildlife people and they were there with their dart guns and trap. I went back to the apartment and left the park. I had finally seen a bear.

She was later darted and then placed in the back of their pickup truck and transport back to the mountains.

Update on Bertha--that is what I named her...
She was taken to another town where she will be in a rehab place during the winter because they didn't think she would make it alone. In the spring she will be placed back in the mountains. Some photos of her...


Photo blog:

Wednesday, September 15, 2004

The Men in my Chest

As some of you might know or have read, I have been sick. Today is going on the 9th day of being sick. And I am pretty much sick of being sick. Tomorrow I will attempt and pretty much no matter what finish a complete day of work. I really don't have too much of a choice as I am the night bitch and so no one will be coming in mid-shift to finish out the day. It is up to me.

Yesterday I was and kind of today I am feeling better. Yesterday I took a drive into the bigger city and visited the great stores of Wal-mart, REI, and Sam's Club and others. But throughout the day I continued to cough. It is a coughing that hurts all the other organs in your body. A cough that might break a rib or burst that lung. A cough where something comes up, but really doesn't. It is a cough that just doesn't feel all that well.

On Sunday, I or we had the idea that I would sweat out my sickness by taking a walk. So we went downtown and we walked up and down the streets. Really BF had other things to do, but he was attempting to get me well. He attempted several times to get back to the vehicle, but I kept pushing him further. I am not sure if he realized that I should get back to the vehicle and return to home to climb back into bed or if he wanted to get himself home to finish his bipolar chores. When the sweat finally started seeping out of my armpits and dampening my shirt, I felt too weak to continue on. I probably should have, but we returned to the vehicle, returned home, and I returned to sleeping for the rest of the day. I am still having back problems from laying bed too much. How bed ridden people do it I am not sure.

This morning I woke up feeling a little better is what I thought. I mean I am not blowing my one sided nostril nose every 10 seconds and don't feel anything draining down into my chest. But I do have that cough still. I have a busy day of appointments. Two of them already out of the way. After BF left this morning, I jumped on the internet to check on my blog community, check my bank account, and check the emails. I threw on the hat and headed down to the tire store to get my registration inspection. That was at 9am and my next appointment, the hair stylist, was at 10am so I had time. I figured why don't I try to sweat the sickness out again. So I walked. I had a mission in mind and didn't accomplish it until I retrieved my vehicle at 1030am. Anywho, I walked almost the length of the town, but the sweat wasn't coming out because it was cold this morning.

I returned to mid-town to get my haircut. The stylist was standing outside gossiping on the phone when I arrived. She said she was freezing and needed to stand in the sun. I was freezing in the sun. She finished cutting my hair and I stood up to leave when I realized I had been sweating sitting in the chair. I walked back to retrieve my vehicle and headed home.

And had a wonderful BM because BF is at work. I took a shower and was freezing standing under the scolding hot water. Now I lay in bed thinking about a nap before that dreadful 2pm appointment. The dentist called to confirm I was coming in and I called back and said UNFORTUNATELY, I will be at my appointment today. I can just imagine how that is going to go because every time I breath I need to cough and every time I move I need to cough. Of course since I will be sweating profusely while there, may be I will get the two damn men who are lighting bonfires inside my lungs out today.

Update on dentist visit: So the happy dental assistant calls my name and ushers me into the cubicle like area to start the torture process. The real torture started with her attempting to make small talk with me. Trying to be my friend. It wasn't helping the torture process anyless because I was already sweating walking into the building. She laid me back like all dentist do to clean the two teeth that retainer was going to be cemented to. Immediately, lets call them John and Bob, planted their fishhook climbing tools into my lungs as they were now being thrust downward or would it be considered upward. It felt like those fishhooks scraped down my entire lungs. Immediately all the ashes from their previous fires were now increasing the size of my breasts. I wanted to scream out in pain and they hadn't even put their disgusting tasting gloved fingers into my mouth. The dentist came in and attempted by all get out (what does that mean exactly) to attach the retainer. Ever have braces? The first thing the orthodonist does after removing your braces is to mold your teeth for retainers so your teeth don't shift. Well, my teeth decided they would shift in those two weeks and so now I had to get another mold. Happy dental assistant is still happy go lucky as she is talking to me about - hell I can't even remember. Why couldn't I have had the same assistant as last time. At least we had something in common, her husband was an officer. She was nice and not trying to be my friend. Anyway, so now I had to have another mold. When she finished, she asked did you gag. And I told her no, you would have noticed. Then she did the unthinkable when I was scheduling my next appointment---SHE TOUCHED MY SHOULDER. And I am not freaking because I am homo, well I guess that would be lesbianphobic person. I just don't like touchy, feeling strangers. I look so forward to my next appointment in two weeks. NOT. By the way, I am coughing even more now and am back in bed.

Monday, September 13, 2004

Thank Goodness for Sick Pay

Seems like months ago when I blogged the I Wonder post. But it was only one week ago tomorrow, Tuesday. Wednesday was spent going between the floor and bed as well. Thursday I decided that I would attempt to go to work. I made it until about 2pm or did I make it the entire day? I doubt it. I am sure I made it until the afternoon patrol shift came on. I called G-Baby and asked if he would cover me on Friday because I wasn't going to come to work. He said no problem. So on Friday, I went between the floor and bed again. Saturday I would give work another shot. Into work at 8am, but again by 815am, I knew I had made a mistake and should be laying in bed. I would once again wait for the afternoon patrol shift to come on. Could 130pm come any slower. The visitors were getting off once again for speeding because I was afraid I would blow snot on them if I pulled them over. Wouldn't that suck--get a ticket and a cold all in one stop. Of course some would deserve it I am sure. Anyway, with time clicking slowly away I was making my rounds slowly but methodically. It was approximately 12pm and I was pulling into the campground to drop off some paperwork. Drop it off and head slowly back down the hill just in time for the afternoon shift to come on.

Sparky called the Entrance Station--Did you hear my last transmission?
Entrance Station answers: No.
Sparky: There is a possible elderly male having a heart attack at DA Trail.

Well, yea HOLY SHIT went through my mind first and foremost and then my snot filled brain kicked into action. I called Dispatch and requested an ambulance immediately. I had flicked on the lights and was coming around the horn in the DG parking lot. I hit the siren to warn the visitors that I was coming through. Are people stupid? I come up behind this guy and he is just driving normally, the sire blaring for him to get the heck out of my way, my hand gesturing where he should go, and he stops dead center. I wanted to ram him. I made it around him finally and called Dispatch again. Please paged out Opie and call BF and have him respond.

Lights and siren rolling and blaring. Are people stupid? Did we not learn in driver's education that lights and sirens means to pull over on the side of the road no matter which way you are traveling on a two lane road? I don't know how much time elapsed by this time. But the whole time driving down there I am thinking--I am going to die myself hiking up there to him. I can't breath as it is. How would I give him mouth to mouth if I had to? Ok, we don't really do that anymore. But I just figured we were going to have two patients once I hiked up there.

I turned the corner onto the road to DA trail. I was coming down the road, lights and sirens blaring. Are people stupid? Some people pull over, others staring off into space and desert scenery. Dispatch was just about to page out Search and Rescue for assistance. I come around the last corner and some visitors are sticking their hands out the window. I pull over immediately thinking they have some information.


I immediately cancel the SAR team. I tell everyone to disregard the situation. Here's the story. The guy is walking along the trail. He falls, cuts his arms, and says may be he passed out, but doesn't think so. They bandage it up at the car and are doing just fine. They will continue hiking and head to the hospital later for possibly some stitches, but he doesn't think he needs it.

Some other visitors happened to be walking by and saw the man laying or sitting on the ground, bleeding, and hurried down to find someone telling that someone (Sparky) that an elderly male was having a heart attack on the trail. Are people stupid?

Geez, get some more information before rushing off to tell something to someone that isn't completely true. Of course, then I got to thinking---what if they weren't the problem and there was another male up there. Luckily there wasn't.

As soon as Opie called on duty, I called off duty and he worked for me on Sunday as well. I attempted once again to finish a whole day of work. Didn't happen of course. As soon as Opie came on duty, I went off duty. My head is going to explode again, my snot is getting worse, and I haven't eaten in 5 days, well haven't eaten a normal meal. Which of course means I am having trouble, well you know that other post.

How's everyone's week going? Hopefully you don't get this bug because it sucks!

Tuesday, September 07, 2004

What do you Wonder About?

After laying on the floor for the good portion of the day, I've come to wonder why they don't make floors more comfortable? Why don't they put a thicker pad underneath the carpet? Think back to when you were a kid...for some I know that is a long, long time ago, but think are playing cars, legos, linkin logs, games galore, etc. You have a sleep over and everyone sleeps on the floor. Back then you didn't think it was uncomfortable because you didn't have to sleep in your bed, but nonetheless it was uncomfortable. Why have I been on the floor all day? Well, I am battling a cold of some sort. I haven't been on the floor all day because it is uncomfortable. I have moved back and forth from the floor to the couch to the bathroom to the bed to the bathroom to the floor. Thing about getting sick is that you actually hydrate yourself with juice, but that only makes me go to the bathroom more. Being sick, obviously I have a lot of time to think since I have yet to go to sleep like I had planned. So I came up with I Wonder...

So the floor is the first thing I wondered about early in the morning. The second thing I seriously wondered about and this goes with being sick as well is why when you are sick and need to blow your nose only one nostril works? You blow and blow and blow, but only one works. Today, it is right nostril that is working. I know the other one holds something, but nothing comes out. And also, when you blow and blow and blow and something comes out and then 2 seconds later more needs to come out. I wonder where it all comes from.

The third thing that passed through my mind today and I have no idea because I only drove to the grocery store was why do people think that the "left lane" is the fast lane. I mean the left lane is the same speed limit as the right lane. Why is it called the FAST LANE. And then on the other hand even though it is the same speed limit, why do people always drive in the left lane so you have to pass them on the right? People that drive in the left lane should get tickets.

I wonder why every TV station goes on commercial at the same time. It is a conspiracy huh? And on the topic of commercials, who comes up with them anyway? Some are so damn stupid. And do they really promote the product because if you are like me you change channels when a commercial comes on.

And speaking on changing channels, I wonder why it doesn't bother me when I change the channels over and over. However, whenever someone else is in control of the remote and is flipping channels it drives me insane.

I wonder why when I go into a grocery store with just a few items to purchase, I always come out with everything I didn't need and won't use. This is also a common occurrence at REI (conspiracy store). I go in there with nothing to purchase and end up finding something I really, really didn't need, but wanted.

I wonder why we write these blogs and people read them and comment on them. I wonder how it is that we have such compassion for someone we have no idea about but feel their pain. How they are in our thoughts as their son is going through a surgery or why haven't they blogged for a while especially since they were talking of ending their life. I don't wonder how I got hooked on this because I blame that all on Jack.

I wonder if my head is going to explode anytime soon because it sure feels like it. I wonder if I will fall out of bed attempting to reach the OJ on the other table.

I wonder if the Devil surely does exist. Is there a Hell where He rules with a pitch fork. I wonder if the Gods really do exist. Is there a Heaven where He hands out wings.

I ponder whether I will wake up when the sun rises. And then will I go to sleep when the moon drops. Will death come upon me in a quicken fashion? Or will I stare at the sky as the life is sucked free?

I wonder why I am laying here typing this blog instead of sleeping. Mostly I wonder...And you?

So what do you wonder about?

Sunday, September 05, 2004

Girls---Is this Normal?

I went to dinner with a friend the other night. She thought I should go see a psychologist or psychiatrist for the problem. But I beg to differ. Mostly because I don't believe in the profession all that much. And that is my opinion so please if you visit one of those people on a regular basis, please don't think I am thinking you are weird. It helps people. But not me. Not me because I am this macho, tough female with no emotions. Really I have emotions, but I don't ever really show them. Anyway, I am getting off track. I am about to expose myself completely to the world about an issue, it really isn't a problem, but an issue I am having. Now I know that I am not alone because I talked to a friend whose girlfriend is the same way. So I am taking a poll kind of to see if other females are this way or if other girlfriends were/are this way around there boyfriends.

Now the problem, issue, is actually causing some pain within me, but I just can't come to grips with the whole thing. You are just dying to know huh?

Well, I spend most nights at my boyfriend's house. And by that, I mean sleep over there. Yes, in sin if you are religious, but thank GOD I am not. Anyway, after work I go over there, eat dinner, watch tv, and sleep. But about the time we are climbing into bed, I have to go to the bathroom. Now, I am not talking pee obviously. I am talking #2, a BM, the big daddy of all. And guess what?

I can't do it. I can't go with him in the house. I go into the bathroom. Do the male thing and take something to read with me. And sit. And sit. I can't go. Hell, I don't even fart around him. Sometimes he will go down to get the mail just so I can go. Or he'll turn up the TV and radio. But nothing helps. I stress out once I am in the bathroom.

Is it just a ME thing or do other females have this issue?

Because let me tell you in the morning after he leaves for work if it is my day off or after I leave heading to work, I let all that gas go the entire drive home. 7+ miles worth. And when I get home I normally can easily and relaxingly go #2.

I've gone over all the might smell, what if I clog it, what if I leave marks, what if he hears it. We've talked about it in length. But nothing helps. And no I am not going to start taking X-Lax.

So does anyone have any good information to help me overcome my bathroom whoas?

Thursday, September 02, 2004

Thoughts and Dinner w/Parentals

Like the passage says above, life is a journey. During that passage the things that you do and the people you meet shape and mold that journey. You meet your saints and you demons. Your Adam Henrys (aka: Assholes) and Franks (*uckers). You meet those long lasting friends and those friends later becoming enemies you don't ever need to see again. And you develop a past. Everybody has those dark spots in their pasts. But those dark spots are what help you live your life fuller and wiser in the later years. And everyone has those bright spots in their lives. And do you ever notice that it is the dark spots that individuals have overcome that others seem to knitpick the most. To me the past doesn't matter because there is no way you or me can go back and change it all. However, we can learn from those incidents and become the great person we are today.

You walk through life and like I said you meet all these people. And those people shape your lives. And you have boyfriends, girlfriends, and those special friends. (I am going to go from my perspective on this one). You have these boyfriends or special friends and you fall hopelessly in love with them. Or is it that you fall hopelessly in lust with them. You think they are the one to spend the rest of your life with. And your friends are telling you "don't be stupid. He is a complete Adam Henry. He treats you like crap" But you can't believe that because you are completely blinded. And then one day you meet this guy and he is way too nice to you. And you tell all your friends that you can't be with this guy because he treats you wonderfully. And then it clicks--all those others were Adam Henrys. And as you get to know this guy more and more, you learn about his past as well. And realize it isn't perfect, but he is who he is today because of his past. And that is what makes you love him more.

So lets move on to the dinner with the parentals and BF. I was more nervous than BF. My dad immediately started walking all weird and trying to embarrass me. Thank goodness boyfriend was already in the restaurant and seated so he couldn't see the walk. My dad always jokes about the financial statements to make sure I get can get off his payroll. I jokingly said something to BF about it. I walked into the restaurant and looked on the table where BF was sitting and there was an envelop that said RESUME. I cringed. After making introductions and small talk, he handed over the RESUME to my dad. I cringed. This is what it looked like:

Position Applied For: Boyfriend
1. I've done this job before and have gained some insight into the female psyche. Not enough, (can any male figure out a woman's mind?) to keep me completely out of trouble, but enough to not always throw up my hands and shout "what the hell did I do wrong now" when she's in a "mood".
2. I'm slightly crazier than she is, but have learned to temper the boldness with the thought that 'hey, I'd like to live to do this again, sometime.' We make a good team on adventures, both prepared for the unexpected and cool-headed enough to deal with emergencies.
3. I'm older (and wiser????) and know how to treat a lady, even when she doesn't consider herself one.
4. I won't be buying a yacht anytime soon, but I no longer save all of my pennies and roll them up to pay my bills.
5. I relish Sara's zest for life, her love of family and friends, misty-eyed poetry, and a generous heart hidden under a "tough, macho, law-enforcement exterior".
6. And, oh, by the way, I'm in love with her....
I realize that if I'm hired for this job, there is no financial remuneration, there is a potential for heartbreak, and as always in any relationship, there will be a lot of hard work. I am willing to take the chance.
Sincerely yours,
And in reading it for the first time and twenty times later, it still makes me all tinglely. But even more so that I have landed a great guy no matter what his past may hold.