I’m back at the Grand Canyon assisting with the flood and have been getting to see a lot of friends who still work here. Most know I went through breast cancer. One didn’t and when I told them, they scoped out my boobs to see if I still had them. I found it funny but a little unnerving as well.
One thing I have wondered is that if I had been here, a very large park, would I have gotten the support I did from my home unit. And to be honest, I don’t think I would have. I had the support from the top down and that made me beating this so much less stressful. I didn’t have to wonder if my job was in jeopardy like so many other women I’ve read about. Upon returning to work, they worked with me on my timeline to get me healthy enough to come back to full duty. And even now check in to see how I’m doing.
While visiting friends at the Grand Canyon friends have asked “how are you doing”. My answer has been “I have good days and bad days”. Most of my days are good. But there are moments of bad really more than days. I get shooting pains in my right side a lot. There are mornings I wake up in pain. I like to play what hurts today.
I was having some pain and feeling like I was winded easily so I went in for a check-up. Thanks to radiation I have fibrosis in my right lung. It’s minimal. But that’s where a lot of pain comes from. I move a certain way and something stretches or adjusts and it is what I would assume being stabbed feels like.
The pill, anastrozole, that I will take for the next 5-10 years, has its own side effects. Joint pain, numbness or prickly feeling in hands, hot flashes, cough, depression, swelling, hair loss and many more I haven’t experienced yet.
Yes, I’ve been depressed. I never understood what depression did to a self and body. But having experienced it, I completely understand how debilitating depression can be. No motivation to do anything. Wanting to just lay in bed all day, under the covers, and away from everything.
The hair on top of my head will not grow back. I’ve tried just about everything besides hair transplants and a wig. I’ve just come to live with that my hair won’t grow back. May be I should give extensions a go.
After answering everyone’s questions about how I’m doing and what I went through, I always end with I’M ALIVE.
Until next time…