Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Another Use of Malox

Do you know of a use of Malox other than for stomach relief? Let me know...

Well here is mine. In 2003, I started having some issues with my toenail. There is a post here that talks about it in 2004...Taking off the Edge. Anyway, in May 2003 I had hangnails removed, a toenail removed, and numerous shots. To be exact in a week and half, I had 18 shots between my head and toe. They were IVs, pain killers, and antibiotics. On the 18th shot, I believe I almost started crying because I had been poked so much. And let me tell you, it wasn't a poking I enjoyed.

Along with the shots, I started taking antibiotics and painkillers orally via pills. All that torment on my body took some terrible affect on my inners and decided food wasn't necessary. And if I did happen to get some food into my body then it would immediately come out via my ass.

And so an adult diaper rash appeared. I went to the clinic, which was run by friends because I was a million miles from civilization and PQ told me that one of them could look at it. I said I didn't think one of my friends was going to bend me over and look at my butthole. So she gave me some diaper rash ointment and told me to rub it on there.

I think it got worse. It was constantly moist and so it was just keeping it from getting better. I passed by the clinic one morning going to work and PQ and Shane were sitting there. PQ asked how it was going and I said not getting any better. Shane suggested taking Malox. Now not drinking it, but taking some on my hand and placing it in my butt crack. Oh great. PQ again suggested they could do it and I again said I would be happy to do it myself.

So I tried it out and guess what...it worked. It cleared up the next day. So again I was passing the clinic on my way to work and PQ asked how it was going. I said I was all better. She said so it worked. I said yes, but I got this minty flavor in my mouth.

She almost fell off her chair she was laughing so hard.

For those gullible folks, I didn't get that flavor in my mouth. But it works. Why? Because instead of staying moist it dries and heals up the problem. Be advised that this is not a known medical cure and should be tried only if you are willing not to sue me.

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