Between 2001-2002, my writings were off the wall. I often consider self-publishing a book them. They were some of my best I believe. Of course that is my opinion and personally don't give a crap about your opinion. But nonetheless, I throw them onto this site.
So why were they off the wall...many reasons I believe. In 2000, I gave up a ton of stuff and lifted a nonexistent elephant off my chest. I was exploring my spirituality, sexuality (click and read the ...has three stages), and life-ality. Primarily I was exploring life. During the next several posts, I am going to throw out those words I wrote.
December 3, 2001
I question what my purpose in life is. And as I sit here at NH I come to think life doesn't really have a purpose. Our, my purpose is to simple live and die. And through those two stages, I must learn and experience all I can. I must feel all I can-pain, sorrow, love, etc. And of course learn from the feelings. I will make mistakes and learn from it. And when I die if there is an afterlife, I will have these to learn and experience more. In yesterdays I was constantly searching for the purpose of my life. Constantly wanting the answer, but sitting here tonight the answer just blew through my mind. My purpose in life is to live. And I realize this must be fully. It must be lived to potential of tomorrow's lessons but living only in this exact time, this moment. Not 5 seconds from now, right now. I must get back to being mindful. I'm sitting here writing, smiling. I'm sitting here living my purpose.
The smile that was once shining so brightly and often and disappeared...its here tonight. Why? I think may be because I found my purpose but may be because life just seems right. Calm, peaceful, and quiet even thought I live in the noise-filled busy city. Just feels right!
What is your purpose in life?