The Desert Heat melts, fries, destroys, and sometimes kills

I live in the desert. I primarily have lived there my entire life except for the few years I went to college in the mountains. My dad will say that I spent most of my time on the mountain skiing going by my GPA, which is primarily true, but oh well. I got that degree I will never use. Anyway, this is about the desert.

Today was hot. I sometimes enjoy the heat. I grew up in a town of temperatures that exceeded the index every day in the summer. I enjoyed the heat. I still enjoy it. I am usually in a jacket when it is 80 degrees. Today's temperature was 94 degrees. I was drinking water like it was going out of style which is quite rare for me to do.

Part of my job is to conduct surveys at various trailheads within our area. Sometimes it is long, sucky, and boring. During the summer months, I have to get 50 a day. Little to say, I didn't get them today. Depending on the location, I often take a book to read. Usually it is a book related to work things, but I am almost finished with my personal book so I was reading that. Did I say how dang hot it was---let me repeat 94 degrees. That is 34 in Celsius. Either way HOT.

If I was a man, I would be less than a man after sitting there sweating half the day. I smell wonderful. So I am reading my book. I turn the page and the page falls out. I continue reading. Turn another page, it falls out. It was so dang hot today that it melted the glue of the binder of my book. I kept reading. I need to finish this book. It has been one dragging on and on. I was going to donate it but it will go in the trash (recycle bin) after I finish it tonight. Last year, my entire Geology book fell apart. Yea, yea, I know better to read those books out there with the heat, but I need something to do while waiting. Do they make glueless binders? I wish!

I moved to my hometown when I was 1 years old. We came from the midwest and in the first winter we were still swimming in the pool while all my sibling's friends thought we were crazy. The following year we didn't swim in the winter because we had become wimps and beach children. How hot was my hometown? Last year it hit 130 degrees. Yep, beat its other record of 128. That isn't normal, but we survived.

In that state, you don't purchase dark vehicles because it just gets too damn hot to touch anything inside. You go from A/C house to A/C car to A/C building. It is hot in the summer. How hot? The blacktop is hot enough to fry an egg in a frying pan. You think I am joking, but I am not.

When I was going to college in the mountains, my brother called and said we are coming to visit this weekend. I was living in my dad's condo at the time so I couldn't very well say no. What I said is why are you coming? He said he had called time and temp at 3:00 AM (that is the time he goes to work) and it was already 115 degrees. 115 at 3:00 AM is just crazy. I said come on up!

You don't leave soda or pop cans unopened, cd/cassettes or anything that would melt in a microwave in your vehicle because it will explode or melt. Each morning you lather yourself up with 900 SPF sunscreen or plan a future trip to the doctor to have skin cancer removed. Of course when we were growing up, my family used to cover themselves in vegetable oil. But we soon learned that we didn't want to look like a leather bag.

I hope you don't think that I am complaining about the heat. Give me 100 degrees over 65 degrees anytime. I don't think I have blood left in the my veins because I would prefer to hibernate during the winter months. The cold just makes me whine, bitch, and complain.

Welcome to the summer heat of the desert because this heat will cause some great stories come the rest of the summer thanks to ill prepared visitors.