Friday, June 25, 2004

My Porsche is too good for COMMON SENSE

Thirty more minutes and the work is over alarm would sound. No, we really don't have an alarm, but one goes off in my head once in a while. The radio chimed "Patrol, 200". Patrol answered.

200: We have a disabled vehicle in the Towers area.
Patrol: I am in town and will be heading that way.

I said I would go up and see what was going on. 6:01 PM. I drove up the hill to the Towers area. No vehicle description. I pulled into the parking lot. Two vehicles there. I asked if they were broken down and both replied nope. So I started driving again and found the broken down vehicle.

He was parked in the road right next to a very nice pull-out. He was also parked on a blind curve. (Question to self-is there any other kind of curve?). She, we'll just assume wife, was sitting in the passenger seat. I could tell they had a flat because he already had the jack out and under the vehicle. I also determined or assumed few things--he had never changed a flat in his life, this was a rental Boxster, and he had about zero common sense.

Me: do you have it under control or do I need to call a tow truck.
Boxster: No, I think we have it. But the book says we need to block the wheels. You don't have any blocks with you, do you?
Me: (This is what I wanted to say--oh yea, we carry those along with our fire gear, SAR pack, EMS pack, personal pack, and my lunch bucket). Um, well there are some really nice rocks right there that would probably work. RETARD! (Ok, that wasn't said).
Boxster: Oh ok.

I walked down a ways to direct traffic. I was not about to help change his tire. I called Patrol and asked to head my way to help with traffic. Let me just say that I had one of those hand held STOP/SLOW signs. They aren't that small. And they make great frisbees when the wind is blowing 20-30 miles an hour. I could barely stand up trying to hold it. I couldn't even hold it the normal way, but had to hold it against my body to brace it. And then we come to the other visitors that are more interested in the blue Porsche Boxster than paying attention to my hand waving them through. I have to say though that 99% of the people were thankful with a wave and actually did slow down. The wind was blowing so hard I couldn't even hear my radio.

Boxster looked like he was finished. He walks to his vehicle to pop the trunk in the front while his wife is pushing down on it with her hand. I hear his voice in a tone that indicates frustration, irritation, and get your fricking hand off the trunk. I smiled. The wind is still blowing as he opens that trunk and the only thing I am thinking is please let go of it so it flies into the air. And it would have too if he would have not held it. They are finally finished with putting everything away. Patrol had arrived and was around the curve slowing down traffic.

Boxster: Do you have air at the station?
Me: (Are you new to the world?) Yea at a gas station in town they will have it.

I got into my vehicle which was right behind his. I should have known better. He thought it would be easier to turn around right there in the blind curve. So I had to get back out of the vehicle to stop all traffic both ways again. 12 points later, he finally had the Boxster turned around and heading back into town. I cleared the scene and drove down to the turn around down the road. 6:24 PM.

Me: Patrol, we are clear from the scene.
Patrol: Why didn't he pull off in the pull out?
Me: I think it had something to do with my rental Boxster can't get dirty.

Little did Boxster know that with the wind blowing there is so much dirt in his vehicle we could make his own sandbox. I started back towards the office. Boxster was doing about 15 miles an hour. I finally blew by him because it was now 6:27 PM. Wonder if he ever found some air?

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